As kids, it was much easier for us to connect with others. We didn’t pause before asking questions; we didn’t overthink before sharing with others. Our capacity for intimacy was at its fullest. As we age, we become less intimate. We learn to be more defensive, deceiving, cunning, and secretive. With each passing day, we become less trusting of others; we disconnect ourselves from those around us, and we blame it on our busy lives, work, family, or whatever excuses people invent to avoid moments of true intimacy.
In today’s world, intimacy is presenting itself as a burden. It’s a human trait that fades away every passing second. In a world that revolves around the team of ‘one’, ‘I’ or ‘me’, real human interactions, feelings, loyalty, friendship, and transparency among other traits are slowly disappearing from our lives.
We avoid intimacy to avoid pain; we avoid intimacy to avoid vulnerability; we avoid intimacy to avoid our past mistakes; we avoid intimacy due to our fear of rejection. However, in the process of avoiding the pain and heartaches that may or may not take place, we avoid the true nourishment to our souls; we avoid our purpose of being; we avoid showing our true colors; we avoid appreciating the truest innate nature of our being. We avoid the closeness of others in fear that they will reject us for who we really are, if we expose our truest colors.
The Mask!
We spend our time scheming and creating polished and less intimate images of ourselves to present to others. We waste so much time fabricating stories that will make feel us less vulnerable and less accessible to others.
Think of all the people you had met!
How many of them think they have done wrong?
How many of them have openly wronged themselves rather than others?
It’s always the other person and it’s never their own mistake.
When was the last time you admitted your own wrong?
Intimacy or Loneliness
Intimacy is our ability to open up to others, sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings; it’s personal; it’s our ability to share and connect with others without any ploy. Intimacy is the true foundation of love, if there is no intimacy, there is no love. Without intimacy, there are no friendships. Without intimacy, we are no longer living; we are just existing.
As we neglect and avoid the monstrous intimacy, we fall into the trap of loneliness, which is far more painful than the pain anyone else can inflict on you. And the longer we are trapped behind the bars of loneliness, we see the world as a dark place.
We will fight it; we will hate it, but somewhere deep down, we will convince ourselves that loneliness is a safer and better place than intimacy. At least in our lonesome, we are no longer vulnerable to others; we are invincible and no one can break us, but us.
