A while ago, I went on three dates with a Muslim-American woman. The first two dates were promising, and the third wasn’t the charm.
We didn’t listen to any of the dating coaches and experts; we talked politics and religion.
Polygamy
We talked about many things, and we agreed on most things. However, the conversation took a different turn when we talked about polygamy.
Polygamy, the practice of having more than one spouse at the same time, is allowed in Islam but it is not considered the norm and it is not a requirement. In fact, the vast majority of Muslims throughout the world do not practice polygamy and live monogamous lives.
According to Islamic historian, Prophet Muhammad took several wives after the death of his first wife, Khadija. Most of those marriages were to widows with orphans. They were also acts of political and social alliances.
Triggered Trauma
My date had strong feelings about polygamy because of its prevalence in her family history. She equated it to pedophilia. I didn’t accept such comparison. We went our separate ways.
However, I found it troubling that an individual would allow their personal feelings about an acceptable practice go as far as equating to a criminal one.
The Current Practice
While my date didn’t even bother to ask for my personal stance on the issue, I had to dig deeper to understand a devout Muslim’s reaction of disgust to a permissible practice.
As it stands, men are marrying multiple women without adhering to any of the religious rulings or conditions. They are doing so in secrecy. The malpractice is so widespread that a country like Egypt had to apply stricter rules and criminalize it.
The Quranic version
“(2) And give to the orphans their properties and do not substitute the defective [of your own] for the good [of theirs]. And do not consume their properties into your own. Indeed, that is ever a great sin.
In the Qur’an, Islam’s holy book, it is stated that a man may have up to four wives at the same time as long as he can treat them all equally and justly. This provision was made in the context of the early Islamic community, which was facing significant challenges including high mortality rates due to wars and a surplus of widows and orphans. Polygamy was seen as a way to provide for and protect these vulnerable women and children.
However, it is important to note that polygamy is not seen as a solution to every problem, and it is not recommended unless the husband is sure he can meet the responsibilities that come with it. In fact, the Qur’an states that it is better for a man to have only one wife if he is not able to treat multiple wives justly. Honesty and transparency are musts in such situations.
In modern times, polygamy is not as common as it was in the past and it is generally only practiced in certain parts of the Muslim world. It is also not recognized by the laws of many Muslim-majority countries, which have imposed limits on the number of wives a man can have.
In conclusion, while polygamy is allowed in Islam, it is not required or the norm. It is seen as a way to provide for and protect widows and orphans in certain circumstances, but only if the husband is able to treat all of his wives justly and equally.
